19 years and still no closure.  No doubt Ryan's case is collecting dust in a file somewhere.  In the meantime, a number of people who were around that night are gone forever also.  I keep hoping for a break in the case or that those who did it would confess, but I guess I shouldn't hold my breath for that.  I keep fighting but it gets harder with age and medical conditions.  

I miss the days when all three of my sons were young and active.  If only there was a time machine to be able to do that.  Awhile back I found this newspaper clip of Ryan from when he was 9 years old and want to share it here.  

Another birthday, another Christmas spent without Ryan.  Nothing but memories and things that trigger sad emotions. 

A few months ago, reporter Mylee Walker of the Daily Egyptian reached out to me about Ryan's case. I agreed to do an interview with her and after a few hurdles, she was finally able to get it published this week.  Attaching the link here for those who are interested in reading it.  Hope it works!  

https://dailyegyptian.com/120003/showcase/ryan-livingston-a-robbery-gone-wrong-still-unsolved-18-years-later/

Year 18 of Christmas without Ryan.  All we have are memories.  

I love these videos of young people reacting to groups we rocked to when we were younger. Lately I've been seeing some watching Three Dog Night songs for the first time. The looks on their faces are priceless!

 I love these videos of young people reacting to groups we rocked to when we were younger. Lately I've been seeing some watching Three Dog Night songs for the first time. The looks on their faces are priceless!

 Year 18 and still no one arrested despite me continuing to try to keep Ryan's case open year after year after year while battling major health issues and injuries.  Sometimes it feels so overwhelming.  

We had Casey's pizza for lunch today in memory of Ryan since he worked there and made pizzas when Hannah was a baby.  Sadly, I don't know where she is right now.  We then went to the cemetery to visit him.  Ryan not being here leaves a big hole in our hearts that no amount of time can ever heal.  

Christmas 2023

Had a pleasant visit with my sons Randy and Robert on Christmas Eve.  On Christmas Day I held Ryan's photo to my chest and cried.  

He should have been here with us.  All we have left is memories.  

And still no justice.  

Christmas 1994

Today is Ryan's 40th birthday. He should have been here with us to celebrate, but of course that choice was taken away from him. His brothers and I got together to share memories and I went to his grave to talk to him, but of course he couldn't answer.  I hope he knows that he is always in our thoughts.  

Dug into photos and found this one from when he became a teenager.  I so miss those days and still cannot look at photos of him without crying.  

We love you, Ryan.  Happy Birthday in Heaven.

The worst day of our lives was 17 years ago today when Ryan was violently taken from us.  The situation with likely suspects is complicated and I cannot discuss it publicly, but I suspect that we will never see justice for Ryan, nor will we ever get closure. I pray that I am wrong.

His daughter Hannah is now in college and we are so PROUD of her!  Ryan loved her so much. I wish he could have been around to watch her grow up.  

Mother's Day is bittersweet.  You dearly love the sons and daughters you have yet there is also an ache and emptiness for the one you lost. It's been almost 17 years since Ryan was violently taken from us and not a single day goes by that he is isn't in my thoughts.  😢