Just ran across this on Facebook.  Those of us dealing with this pain will certainly identify with it.  💔💔💔 

Ryan would have been 39 today if his life hadn't been stolen.  Visited him yesterday at the cemetery and right on cue, "Baker's Street" came on the radio.  

A couple of weeks ago the flowers I had on his headstone disappeared.  I don't know why someone would do that.  It was so pretty and was the first flower arrangement I was able to make since my major surgery and illnesses last year.  😪  There are other flowers there now.  

Meanwhile, not a word from CPD about his case so I'm assuming they haven't looked at his case since I prompted them to last year.  It's looking more and more like there will be no justice in what time I have left on earth.  

All I have are memories....  This is from Halloween 1988 in Arizona.  His cousin Jenny on the left is gone now too.  😭  We miss them both terribly.  

16 Years and Still No Resolution

I feel frustrated, stressed and heartbroken. It's the 16th anniversary of Ryan's murder and his case continues to be pushed further and further back on the shelf as Carbondale police deal with increasing crime in the city.  I don't know how much longer his father and I have on this earth but we were really hoping for his case to be resolved before we pass away.  

Ryan's daughter Hannah graduated from high school in May with high honors and a college scholarship so she will be off to start a brand new chapter in her life soon!  Ryan would be so proud of her!  💓💓💓

Ryan has been showing up more in my dreams lately.  It's always so good to see him but sad when I wake up and the dream is over. 

Some wonder why those of us who have lost kids continue to talk about them.  Some even think we should just "get over it".  Well, you don't "get over it".  They were an integral part of our lives and our hearts are broken forever.  We NEED to talk about it.  We NEED to know that others care as we spend the rest of our life's journey trying to cope with it.  We don't need constant sympathy, just someone who is there to understand and be supportive when needed, not someone who is dismissive of our pain.

You will always be a part of our lives, Ryan.  We miss you.