A truly amazing thing happened this year and I wish to share it.  

In August we were contacted by a caring lady in Missouri telling us that in 2005, the morning after a music festival at the Cave, she was walking and found a tiny note on the ground that Ryan had written to Hannah (who was only about a year and a half old at the time) telling her that he loved her. She had no idea who Ryan was but his name and Hannah's were on the note and when she got home she tried unsuccessfully to find him online. 

She tucked the note away and found it this year so she decided to look for him again.  She sadly discovered online that Ryan died in 2006. She messaged me a copy of the note and I recognized his writing even though I couldn't quite make out what it said.  She then sent me the note, along with a wonderful hand written letter telling me her story.  Needless to say, my tears flowed at her kindness and the miracle that this tiny note had survived for 11 years.  

Even more amazing is that her name is Sarah (Hannah's mother's name) and she lives on Hannah Street.  What are the chances???

Hannah is almost 13, growing into such a wonderful young lady and we are all very proud of her.  I haven't found the right time to show the note to her yet, but hopefully soon she will see her father's message to her from beyond the grave.  

Yet another painful day for those of us left behind....what would have been Ryan's 33rd birthday.  I wish we had a time machine so we could go back and stop the brutal event which took his life. He should be here celebrating with us instead of being cold in his grave. 

Through my own investigating I discovered that some people who should have been interviewed in Ryan's case were either overlooked or ignored.  To say the least, it upsets me.  It is no longer possible to talk to some of those who were around 10 years ago because they are no longer with us.  I met with detectives in July, hoping that what I brought to them would help lead them in directions which would renew interest in the investigation.  I am still crossing my fingers but not holding my breath.  In the meantime, the suspects continue on with their lives while Ryan will never have that chance.  I wonder how they can live with that.

Ryan's beautiful daughter Hannah will soon be a teenager, is a good student and wonderful person. She is as tall as me now!  I am thankful to have her and Wyatt, who is now 5, in my life.  I am a very proud Grandma.  

10 years.....and still no definitive answers.  

Ryan was bright, adventurous, and friendly, even though he could be rather impulsive and impressionable sometimes.  He passionately loved his daughter, was there for his friends, he helped people when he could, and he loved animals, especially cats.  Why someone would take his life so brutally is unthinkable.

My oldest son Randy put together this wonderful video tribute to Ryan.  It's not long and he put his heart and soul into it.  Please watch.  

https://www.facebook.com/rememberryan83/videos/1295437447151460/?pnref=story


After this many years some will say "Well it's about time to get over it."  Anyone who says something like that has never lost a son or daughter, especially to murder.  If you lose your arm or leg, you will recover and get back to a life, yes, but it will never be the same as the life you had before.  An important part of you is missing. That's close to what it is like.

I have accepted Ryan's death and that he is never coming back, but I will never rest until his killers are brought to justice.  The thugs that attacked him have a false sense of security if they think that we will just let this go away.  I'm not giving up and I'm NOT going away.  They messed with the wrong Mama.